Pages

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A mother's reflection

One year ago today my life changed forever, I became a mother. This is something that can never be undone; once someone becomes a parent they are one for the remainder of time. With this new rite of passage that I took one year ago, like so many other women before me, comes knowledge and wisdom. You would think that this is knowledge and wisdom passed on by other mothers (well yes, don't get me wrong, us moms share a lot between us) but the knowledge I am talking about is the never ending lessons your child teaches you. During the last year I have learned more special and key life lessons then I have in my 28 1/2 previous years of life.
  • I now know from the bottom of my heart that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. There is something about pushing a baby out of you with no assistance or drugs that will do that to a woman.
  • I understand and feel the pain my parents felt when for me as I grew up. The time I fell and cut my head; all the times I hid on my mother when we were out and about; the time they found out I was using; the time they found out I was suicidal; when I dropped out of school; when I moved away to Toronto for university; when I told them I was staying in Toronto. (I am sorry)
  • I understand the joy my parents felt for me. When I learned how to walk; my first day of school; when I won art competitions; when I told them I was returning to school; the day I graduated; when I became clean; the day I got married; when we announced I was with child.
  • I understand how someone would give their life for another no questions asked.
  • I understand true love. Yes I love my parents; I love my friends; I love sister; I love my husband; but there is something about a mother's love for her children that breaks all boundaries that you have come to understand that defines love and re-defines the meaning of love all over again in a way that you believed was impossible.
  • Christophe has also taught me other kinds of lessons; such as to respect the planet even more then I already did. I now understand that we really do borrow the earth from our children.
  • I have also learned how to laugh all over again. I really think that I had become a monotonous person that did not "stop to smell the roses", as one would say. We live life in the slow lane now and take time to laugh everyday.
  • Indirectly, by trying to install good habits in Christophe, he has taught me: to walk more often and not use the car; to eat less fried food; to exercise once a week (yoga); to keep a clean house; not to eat and blog a the same time; to take my shoes off when I am home; to not talk with my mouth full; to think before I buy.
I am sure that these are not the last lessons I will learn from my son and hopefully my other future kids. Yes, one day, I want more kids. This is another lesson my son has taught me: I am a mother and was meant to be a mother. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I wanted to be a mother I would have said that's not for me and I don't want kids. If you would have asked me the same question 15 months ago, I would have said one is enough. If you would have asked me 12 months ago, I would have said I can do this again. If you ask me today I would say I want 2 more brothers for Christophe.

Thank you Christophe for your wisdom, you are only 1 year old and have changed my life in a more meaningful way then any other person or event.

3 comments:

Lisa S said...

That was such a sweet post. I understand every word you wrote. It is great to be a mom!

Micheline said...

I remember you saying you didn't plan on having kids, I'm so glad you changed your mind! Christophe is so beautiful and even though we don't see each other in person anymore because of the distance between us, I can see in each and every post how much you have changed as a person. Just beautiful. I love everything you wrote and keep being wonderful you!

Candice said...

Gorgeous!

Happy Birthday Christope. It seems you are a very good teacher.