FRIENDS...

I have to say I am blessed to have found some amazing moms in my hood.

I love the fact that on almost any given day I have a group of great friends that I can text and there will pretty much always be someone available for a play-date.  It really helps past the long days that can get very lonely for a SAHM.

On Monday we were at Sallyanne's house ( a close friend) and I took this picture of her daughter that I just had to share as it is way too cute...

The Baby G Monster Rocking her uncles hat.

On Tuesday that same group of friends came over for a Holiday Party.  I really loved hosting a party for them and their children; I do not want to even imagine life as a SAHM without all these wonderful people in it.

This post is dedicated to all our friends HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

April is Almost Gone

I can not bealive it's already April 21st.  April is a big month around here, you have garden prep, spring cleaning, my dad's birthday, my mom's birthday, my best-friend Lisa's birthday, my father-in law's birthday, this April also marked the one-year anniversary since my grandmother passed away.

Remembering Grand-memere

I am so glade that Christophe had a chance to meet his grand-memere it's not everyone that get to do this.  I think grand-memere was even more excited then me when she got to meet Christophe for the first time in 2008.  I always feared that she would never get to meet any of my kids; I am not sure as to why but it was important to me for her to be able to see me as a mother.  I think it might be because I learned so much from her as I was growing up - she is the one that showed me how to sow and hem; to garden; to cook; to make simple games for play; to clean house; to love unconditionally.  All traits that help shape and define me as a mother (ok maybe no sowing - I would love to have more time to do this) on top of all the traits that my own mother passed on.

She also though me to reach for the sky and that no matter what you can accomplish anything. She is a published author. She tough me to speak my mind to be honest and do what feels right to me for my son and not what others are necessarily doing.

She touched everyone that come in her life; and excepted everyone as they were.

As much as I try not to mourn on death - as I am certain grand-memere would not want me to, but I can't help but think of her this month a little more then I normally.  Honestly I think of her almost everyday; she is with me all the time in every little thing I create with my hands.

Christophe knows who she is by image only and I think he even understands that he can not see her anymore.  I sometimes ask him "ou est grand-memere?" (where is grand-memere?) and he points to her portrait in our living room and says "bye bye" or other times just points.

Thank you Yvon for painting this...

Looking Forward To

Seeing my family in a few weeks...

A mother's reflection

One year ago today my life changed forever, I became a mother. This is something that can never be undone; once someone becomes a parent they are one for the remainder of time. With this new rite of passage that I took one year ago, like so many other women before me, comes knowledge and wisdom. You would think that this is knowledge and wisdom passed on by other mothers (well yes, don't get me wrong, us moms share a lot between us) but the knowledge I am talking about is the never ending lessons your child teaches you. During the last year I have learned more special and key life lessons then I have in my 28 1/2 previous years of life.

• I now know from the bottom of my heart that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. There is something about pushing a baby out of you with no assistance or drugs that will do that to a woman.
• I understand and feel the pain my parents felt when for me as I grew up. The time I fell and cut my head; all the times I hid on my mother when we were out and about; the time they found out I was using; the time they found out I was suicidal; when I dropped out of school; when I moved away to Toronto for university; when I told them I was staying in Toronto. (I am sorry)
  
• I understand the joy my parents felt for me. When I learned how to walk; my first day of school; when I won art competitions; when I told them I was returning to school; the day I graduated; when I became clean; the day I got married; when we announced I was with child.
• I understand how someone would give their life for another no questions asked.
• I understand true love. Yes I love my parents; I love my friends; I love sister; I love my husband; but there is something about a mother's love for her children that breaks all boundaries that you have come to understand that defines love and re-defines the meaning of love all over again in a way that you believed was impossible.
• Christophe has also taught me other kinds of lessons; such as to respect the planet even more then I already did. I now understand that we really do borrow the earth from our children.
• I have also learned how to laugh all over again. I really think that I had become a monotonous person that did not "stop to smell the roses", as one would say. We live life in the slow lane now and take time to laugh everyday.
• Indirectly, by trying to install good habits in Christophe, he has taught me: to walk more often and not use the car; to eat less fried food; to exercise once a week (yoga); to keep a clean house; not to eat and blog a the same time; to take my shoes off when I am home; to not talk with my mouth full; to think before I buy.

I am sure that these are not the last lessons I will learn from my son and hopefully my other future kids. Yes, one day, I want more kids. This is another lesson my son has taught me: I am a mother and was meant to be a mother. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I wanted to be a mother I would have said that's not for me and I don't want kids. If you would have asked me the same question 15 months ago, I would have said one is enough. If you would have asked me 12 months ago, I would have said I can do this again. If you ask me today I would say I want 2 more brothers for Christophe.

Thank you Christophe for your wisdom, you are only 1 year old and have changed my life in a more meaningful way then any other person or event.

Why wont you help me mommy

My son hates his car seat, however sometimes we need to travel by car.

Today we went to Rexdale and Brampton to pick up a few things and where I go, Christophe goes , because he is still nursing. This is how the trip went: 10 mins content but not happy in his seat. 30 mins crying and looking and reaching at me to pick him up while I sing Brother John over and over to him. 30 mins of screaming while his face is turning red.

Now we are at our first destination, we stop, I take him out of his car seat, he is happy. Once we are done, we get back in the car and the ordeal starts all over again, this time skipping step one, as he starts to cry as soon as he touches his seat.

We get to our second destination then get back in the car he is actually happy for the short 10 mins to our final destination. Now we need to get home, he starts to scream, he is red in the face, he has tears pouring down his cheeks. Nothing I do can help he falls asleep. I hope he understands that we put him in that horrible car seat because we love him.